Have you ever caught your cat gazing at you from across the room, then slowly, almost dreamily, closing and opening their eyes? That languid, deliberate blink isn’t sleepiness or boredom. It’s actually your cat’s way of blowing you a kiss.
Cat behaviourists and scientists call it the “slow blink,” and it’s one of the most tender gestures in the feline communication repertoire. Here’s everything you need to know about this secret language of love, and how to speak it back.
What Exactly Is a Slow Blink?
A slow blink is exactly what it sounds like: your cat looks at you and deliberately closes their eyes, fully or partially, them shut for a moment, then slowly opens them again. Unlike a quick, reflexive blink, this one is unhurried and intentional. It often involves a series of soft half-blinks followed by prolonged eye narrowing, lasting more than half a second.
Cat behaviour expert Jackson Galaxy, host of My Cat From Hell, calls it “The I Love You Blink.” Others have dubbed it the “kitty kiss” or the “butterfly kiss of the cat world.” Whatever you call it, the meaning is the same: your cat feels safe, content, and connected to you.
What Does It Really Mean?
To understand why the slow blink is so significant, you need to think like a cat.
Cats are both predators and prey in the wild. Closing their eyes, even for a moment, makes them vulnerable. They can’t spot threats when their eyes are shut. So when your cat slow blinks at you, they’re essentially saying: “I trust you enough to let my guard down.”
It’s the opposite of a hard stare. In cat language, prolonged, unblinking eye contact is a challenge, even a threat. But a slow blink signals peaceful intentions, comfort, and affection. Cats use this same gesture with each other to communicate that they’re friendly and pose no danger.
When your cat slow blinks at you, they’re relaxed, happy, and telling you they feel safe in your presence. In the feline world, that’s about as close to “I love you” as it gets.
The Science Behind the Slow Blink
Cat lovers have long believed in the power of the slow blink, but now science has confirmed what we’ve always suspected.
In 2020, researchers at the University of Sussex and University of Portsmouth published a groundbreaking study in Scientific Reports. They conducted two experiments with domestic cats and found compelling evidence that slow blinking really does work as a form of positive communication.
In the first experiment, cats were significantly more likely to slow blink back at their owners after the owners slow blinked at them, compared to when there was no interaction. In the second experiment, cats were more likely to approach an unfamiliar person who slow blinked at them than someone who maintained a neutral expression.
“It’s something that many cat owners had already suspected, so it’s exciting to have found evidence for it,” said Professor Karen McComb, who led the research. “It’s a great way of enhancing the bond you have with cats.”
The researchers also noted that slow blinking differs from normal reflexive blinking, both the closing and opening of the eyelids happen at a deliberately slow pace. This suggests it’s an intentional behaviour, not just a random eye movement.
How to Give Your Cat a “Cat Kiss”
Ready to speak your cat’s language? Here’s how to slow blink back:
1. Choose the right moment. Wait until your cat is relaxed and calm, lounging on the sofa, settled in a sunny spot, or already looking at you contentedly. Don’t try it when they’re eating, playing, or on high alert.
2. Make soft eye contact. Gently catch your cat’s gaze. Don’t stare intensely, that can feel threatening. Think of it as a warm, relaxed glance.
3. Slowly close your eyes. Let your eyelids drift shut at a leisurely pace. Some people like to think “I…” as they close.
4. Hold for a moment. Keep your eyes closed briefly. Think “love…”
5. Slowly open your eyes. Open them gently, as if waking from a peaceful nap. Think “you.”
6. Repeat a few times. You can do this two or three times in a row. Watch for your cat to blink back, it’s a beautiful moment when they do.
Pro tip: If you wear glasses, try removing them so your cat can clearly see your eyes.
What If Your Cat Doesn’t Blink Back?
Don’t worry, it doesn’t mean your cat doesn’t love you.
Just like people, cats have different personalities and ways of expressing affection. Some cats are enthusiastic slow blinkers; others show their love through head bunts, purring, kneading, following you from room to room, or simply choosing to sit near you.
If your cat looks away after you slow blink, that’s actually a good sign. In feline etiquette, looking away signals comfort and respect, they’re not threatened and don’t feel the need to keep watching you. Keep trying over time, and you may find your cat starts responding more as they learn this is your way of connecting.
Beyond Your Own Cat: Other Ways to Use the Slow Blink
The slow blink isn’t just for your own cat, it’s a universal feline greeting that can help in many situations:
Meeting new cats. Slow blink at a friend’s cat or a neighbourhood cat you encounter. It signals that you’re not a threat and can help them warm up to you faster.
Calming anxious cats. If a cat seems nervous or scared, a slow blink can help them feel safer. It’s a non-invasive way to communicate peaceful intentions without approaching or reaching toward them.
At the shelter. Research has shown that shelter cats who respond to slow blinks with eye closures of their own tend to get adopted faster. If you’re looking to adopt, try slow blinking at cats to see who responds, it might help you find your perfect match.
The Takeaway
Cats may have a reputation for being aloof, but the slow blink proves they’re more emotionally connected to us than we sometimes give them credit for. This simple gesture, a deliberate closing and opening of the eyes, is their way of saying “I trust you,” “I feel safe with you,” and yes, “I love you.”
Next time your cat is lounging nearby and catches your eye, try sending them a slow blink. You might just get a kitty kiss in return.
Have you tried the slow blink with your cat? Did they blink back? Tell us in the comments! 😻
